August 5, 2014

Well, I guess it is time for another blog post.  Sorry, no fun pictures this time!

We are constantly getting the questions -
"Any news?"
"Any job leads?"
"Where is Kylie going to school? Are you going to start her in Fairview?"

Well, the answers are . . .
No news.
No job leads.
Only God knows where Kylie is going to school, and we don't know if we are going to start her here in Fairview.

These answers aren't very satisfying to most, and frankly, not satisfying to us either.  However, those are the answers we have right now.

God has been very silent lately and we have felt no peace, direction, or leading.  I admit, this is very difficult.  Those that know me well, know that this is completely against my personality.  I am a planner and always like to have my ducks in a row.  This summer has pushed me way out of my comfort zone as we have been forced to live a day at a time.

I have to admit that I had a couple of weeks where I was frustrated, angry, hopeless, and, in a sense, living in a state of panic.  God has not answered us in "my" time and I was not okay with that. However, on Saturday, Darren and I went to Roman Nose State Park and spent time talking, praying, fasting, and seeking.  While we didn't come out of it with any great revelations, I was convicted of my sin of taking control from God and trying to fix it all myself.  I had not been living out the faith I proclaimed.  I was struggling, because I am a Martha by nature.  I am a "doer" and Darren tends to be more of Mary. He was sitting at Jesus' feet while I was stewing that he needed to be "doing" something.  What does Jesus say in Scripture?  "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:41-42)

Charles Stanley recently had a sermon on KJIL about Requirements for Answered Prayer.  I have listened to it several times.  He makes many good points, but one point he makes towards the end is a warning.  This isn't exactly how he said it, but basically he said if you pray and pray and don't get an answer, you are better off waiting than to step ahead of God because you think He isn't on time.  It will always get you in trouble.  

I feel like anything we do right now seems like we are stepping ahead of God and forcing something to work.  Nothing seems like a "fit" and we don't feel unified peace or desire as a family in any direction.  What I am sensing is that when God is silent, we need to be patient, be still, and wait.  

So . . . as ridiculous as it looks from a human perspective, that is what we are choosing to do right now.  We are "being still" and "waiting."  We know when we left Cimarron without another job lined up, it also looked unwise from a human perspective.  But, we clearly felt Him telling us to "go" and we felt peace and unity as a family.  So, we are doing our best to trust God, listen, obey, and follow.  For those of you that just went through "The Story" study with us at Valleyview, we are trying to trust that God has a plan in the Upper Story that we cannot see yet down here in the Lower Story.   

We have seen Him guide us all along the way, from selling our house, to providing a trailer for our belongings, providing summer jobs for the girls, and the list goes on.  Our God is too big and too great to bring us this far and just drop us and leave us hanging.

Kaitlyn moves back in at Tabor next Tuesday, August 12th.  Thankfully, we packed most of her stuff at the back of the truck, so we can get to it.  This will be another transition for us.  She is excited to go back to school, but struggling a bit with leaving us in this state of limbo. 

So, please continue to pray for us.  This journey is not easy.  Some days are easier than others.  Please pray with us that God will show us at exactly the right time what His Will is for us.  Please pray that we will know what to do with schooling for Kylie.  Please pray for peace and unity in our family when He does give us guidance.  That it will be crystal clear and we will know without a shadow of a doubt that it is His leading.  Please pray that God will be glorified through this all.

Psalm 37:7 - Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.
James 5:7-8 - Be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near.
Exodus 14:14 - The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

P.S.  One additional prayer request is for my eyes.  As many of you know, with my arthritis, I often have trouble with my eyes.  Well, the last few weeks I have had a flare up.  It got bad enough that I finally went to the eye doctor here.  He said I had 3 strikes against me . . . 1) arthritis that just looks for a place to attack in my body; 2) dry eyes; 3) allergies caused by the conditions here.  He gave me some potent eye drops to try to calm down my "angry" eyes.  I went back again last week and they were improving, but I go back again this Friday. They look and feel much better; however, my vision has been affected this time which hasn't happened before.  Please pray that my eyes will heal and my vision will go back to normal.